Wo hui xiang ni
Nothing’s gonna change.
Circles
He’s not coming home
Her heart in her throat
She falls to the floor
She shuns every memory
Every letter and call
Just to get through each second
She is slowly shutting off
Where is her sweet revenge
Who will she blame
Where is her freedom now
How can she reclaim it
He wipes the sweat from her face
As she moans in pain
A tiny and helpless life
Comes as if to say
Here is your sweetest gift
Take this moment it is safe
Its true pure and beautiful
In return for all of your pain
Eyes wide and heart warm
She sees him in her face
If you watch the way the world gives back
In circles you will trace
Familiar much?
Choosing
When you're down and you try and reach for the sky
And you sit down and wonder why oh why
Do you sit back and let those bad feelings hurt from within
Or do you do something about it, so you feel comfortable in your own skin
What you decide to do, is entirely your choice
You can sit back in silence, or you can let others hear your voice
You can't go through life, being scared and afraid
There are all types of decisions that have to be made
If you make the first move, you're halfway there
The world is for living, you just have to choose to care.
Unusual You - Britney Spears
Time for a change don’t you think?
As usual, alot have been on my mind lately. Think i have to come to terms that i can't stop thinking bout little things in detail. I do have the tendency to reminisce a bit too much and blow everything out of proportion. Things that are bad i could always find a significant good in them. But it does comes with a price when the opposite hits where i could also find everything which are ugly bout a certain blessing.
Paranoia fills me everytime when something which i believe is great happens. I'm one who never had what it takes to deserve such good things in life. Whenever i'm that close, things would always have a way of their own to wreck the entire situation. No, never once have i tasted greatness. Is there such a thing even? I doubt it so much especially when i know i can be easily satisfied. Yet i'm never with my own achievements. Ironic isn't it? Am i contradicting everything? Or what i truly believed in has been all a long a lie?
I know its difficult to accommodate my kind of personality and it does take great patience to sit down and try to understand me fully. From the surface, alot may realize that i have an easy going character within, that it doesn't take much to read me. Yes i am like that from the outside and it is part of me. But what about inside? I'm not proud to say that i'm a little on the disturbed side. Freaks the hell out of me even to say the least.
If i can't stand to see that in myself how can someone from the outside accept such characteristics? I know for one i'm not alone here. That there are some out there who has the same troubling personality. How can i ever share that out in the open and be free?... I really need someone to comprehend and understand what i'm going through inside every single day. Call me weak, but i just can't seem to do this on my own. It's been there every since i've learn to think for myself.
It would certainly be an eye opener and relief if someone would take their time and just listen carefully on what i may not be willing to share. A battle with myself that's for sure. Ok i admit, i'm lost... I've been lost ever since the day i gave him up. But then again, i'm not willing to forsake everything that currently makes up JP of just to fill that emptiness. No... not just yet. The music is always playing which means he who is the prince of this world is still dancing.... and i've been taken for that smooth ride... and enjoying it.
Best i ever had
Scars
Just Perfect
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.
I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.
Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.
I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.
Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.
I had a dream