Joshua Phan » Videos

Wo hui xiang ni

miLo — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 13:46:42 +0000

Nothing’s gonna change.

miLo — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 11:34:39 +0000

Circles

miLo — Tue, 26 May 2009 16:16:00 +0000

This chapter is over
He’s not coming home
Her heart in her throat
She falls to the floor
She shuns every memory
Every letter and call
Just to get through each second
She is slowly shutting off
Where is her sweet revenge
Who will she blame
Where is her freedom now
How can she reclaim it
He wipes the sweat from her face
As she moans in pain
A tiny and helpless life
Comes as if to say
Here is your sweetest gift
Take this moment it is safe
Its true pure and beautiful
In return for all of your pain
Eyes wide and heart warm
She sees him in her face
If you watch the way the world gives back
In circles you will trace
Familiar much?

Natalie Walker-Circles

Choosing

miLo — Mon, 18 May 2009 07:40:00 +0000

When you're down and you try and reach for the sky
And you sit down and wonder why oh why
Do you sit back and let those bad feelings hurt from within
Or do you do something about it, so you feel comfortable in your own skin
What you decide to do, is entirely your choice
You can sit back in silence, or you can let others hear your voice
You can't go through life, being scared and afraid
There are all types of decisions that have to be made
If you make the first move, you're halfway there
The world is for living, you just have to choose to care.

Unusual You - Britney Spears

Time for a change don’t you think?

miLo — Mon, 11 May 2009 20:11:00 +0000

As usual, alot have been on my mind lately. Think i have to come to terms that i can't stop thinking bout little things in detail. I do have the tendency to reminisce a bit too much and blow everything out of proportion. Things that are bad i could always find a significant good in them. But it does comes with a price when the opposite hits where i could also find everything which are ugly bout a certain blessing.

Paranoia fills me everytime when something which i believe is great happens. I'm one who never had what it takes to deserve such good things in life. Whenever i'm that close, things would always have a way of their own to wreck the entire situation. No, never once have i tasted greatness. Is there such a thing even? I doubt it so much especially when i know i can be easily satisfied. Yet i'm never with my own achievements. Ironic isn't it? Am i contradicting everything? Or what i truly believed in has been all a long a lie?

I know its difficult to accommodate my kind of personality and it does take great patience to sit down and try to understand me fully. From the surface, alot may realize that i have an easy going character within, that it doesn't take much to read me. Yes i am like that from the outside and it is part of me. But what about inside? I'm not proud to say that i'm a little on the disturbed side. Freaks the hell out of me even to say the least.

If i can't stand to see that in myself how can someone from the outside accept such characteristics? I know for one i'm not alone here. That there are some out there who has the same troubling personality. How can i ever share that out in the open and be free?... I really need someone to comprehend and understand what i'm going through inside every single day. Call me weak, but i just can't seem to do this on my own. It's been there every since i've learn to think for myself.

It would certainly be an eye opener and relief if someone would take their time and just listen carefully on what i may not be willing to share. A battle with myself that's for sure. Ok i admit, i'm lost... I've been lost ever since the day i gave him up. But then again, i'm not willing to forsake everything that currently makes up JP of just to fill that emptiness. No... not just yet. The music is always playing which means he who is the prince of this world is still dancing.... and i've been taken for that smooth ride... and enjoying it.

Song of the week

Natasha Bedinglfield - pocket full of sunshine

Best i ever had

miLo — Thu, 07 May 2009 14:26:00 +0000

went out today, had sushi king with someone special.

Unagi is da bomb.

came home and decided to watch passenger.

a anne hathaway movie.<3

check out that movie, its nice.

anyway. towards the end of the movie.

*spoiler alert*, anne was on a plane and it is about to crash.

everyone panicked.

there was this girl, she sat there clamly, tears started to flow.

she then put on her ear piece and listen to her favorite song.

she just sat there.

my hero

all that got me thinking.

if i were in her suituation,

will i be able to react like her?

and listen to that one song before i die.

what song could it be?

i turn on my itunes and look at my list.

i found this one song, the song that i used to like.

regardless of whether i was in/out of love.

Vertical Horizon - Best I Ever Had

i guess that song will be the song that i'll listen to a minute before i die.

and Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

if i get another minute.lol

anyway, heres the video.

Vertical Horizon - Best I Ever Had

Scars

miLo — Sat, 02 May 2009 07:13:00 +0000

One month ago was my BIG 21,

nothing much has happened.

Still pursuing my dreams,

finger crossed.

Stumble upon a rock band that I used to like back in the days.

They produce great song,

making me wanna take back guitar

oh, in case yall didnt know. Im a music freak.

I can play the piano, guitar and I even took violin once.

I can play a little drum and bass too

Hey Mr.DJ

WAD UP!

Scars by Papa Roach

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut

My weakness is that I care too much.

And my scars remind me that the past is real

I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down

And I just wanna be alone

I'm pissed cause you came around

Why don't you just go home

Cause you channel all your pain

And I can't help you fix yourself

You're making me insane

All I can say is

[Chorus:]

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut

My weakness is that I care too much

And our scars remind us that the past is real

I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once

Against my own advice

I saw you going down

But you never realized

That you're drowning in the water

So I offered you my hand

Compassions in my nature

Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down

And I just wanna be alone

You shouldn't ever come around

Why don't you just go home?

Cause you're drowning in the water

And I tried to grab your hand

And I left my heart open

But you didn't understand

Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself

But at least I can say I tried

I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

I can't help you fix yourself

But at least I can say I tried

I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

[Chorus x2]

Just Perfect

miLo — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 16:33:00 +0000

Priscilla Ahn - Dream

I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream