I love you.
“ I loved you. And here’s a news flash: you protected me from nothing. I spent time missing you, wondering what the hell I did wrong to make you do that to me. I thought everything was my fault. And even when I got over that, I still knew what I’d lost: you. You were the one who made me laugh when I had a crappy day. You were the one I vented to when I was mad, the one I shared all the good stuff with. You always knew when I was full of crap, and you always called me on it. You were smart, you were funny, you were good-looking. You were mine. And then, suddenly, you weren’t. I knew every day exactly what I’d lost, and I missed you every day. That’s the big favor you did for me. Thanks so much. Here’s the kicker… you weren’t even protecting me. You were protecting yourself. If you’d given half a thought to me, you wouldn’t have said goodbye.
Flying today.
When I pretend what happened didn’t hurt, is when it hurts the most. I’ve faked a smile for so long, that I honestly forgot how it feels like to have a real one on. It’s simple: I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired…
Too much?
I don’t know if the pain is gone, or if I’m just getting used to it. Just someone I can trust, Someone who’s honest, Someone who makes me laugh, Someone who loves me for me, Someone who will give me a hug when I’m upset, That’s all I ask. Surely that can’t be too much. It’s difficult, isn’t it? Fighting for something you could’ve had, and then wondering if it’s already maybe too late.
Happy 24th month
Drunk, trying to get myself numb. Trying to pass out and somehow hit my head against concrete. I wanna have an amnesia.
Amnesia is the only way that can save me now.
today…
you know that feeling where you need somebody so badly that it just aches and the only way to cure it is by being in the presence of that same somebody except being in their presence makes you ache, too and in the end it just feels like sometimes you just can’t win?
tonight, i feel just like that. i can’t win.
lucky bastard
“ Do you know what it’s like to love someone so much, that you can’t see yourself without picturing her? Or what it’s like to touch someone, and feel like you’ve come home? What we had wasn’t about sex, or about being with someone just to show off what you’ve got, the way it was for other kids our age. We were, well, meant to be together. Some people spend their whole lives looking for that one person. I was lucky enough to have her all along.
I still love you. I'm sorry if thats a bad thing and i'm sorry if you think i'm wasting my time. But I've loved you for a long time now and you really expect me to get over you just as quick as you got over me? I don't think you quite know me.
Realize it
it's been weeks and i still can't let go of you. i can't shake this feeling that's telling me we were meant to be. i just wish you'd realize it. please realize it.
